...baby, don't hurt me...seriously, what IS love? Who is capable of love? When are we capable of love? Should eighteen year olds marry?
For those Twerds out there who have read the Twilight series: Bella and Edward? An eighteen year old making an ETERNAL commitment to an eighty-four year old vampire? Many parents appreciate the book series because it promotes abstinence until marriage--as teen readers, did you perceive that message? Are there more controversial issues the series provokes? Is it yet another dangerous lie for teenage girls to consume, another myth perpetuating unrealistic and unattainable romantic possibilities?
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15 comments:
i've never seen twilight, but i believe that people have to allow themselves to feel love, you can't explain love, but the person has to let it come in, rather than it just taking over. once it get a little in, it takes you over.
I've never read or seen Twilight, but I believe that Love is an emotion that basically makes you feel as though you are willing to do anything for that person you love or care for dearly. I don't think there is just one universal definition of Love. Everyone has there own way of describing it. But to me that's what I think it is. Willing to do something for someone despite the consequences.But I do think that some people take advantage of the fact that when you love someone there are so many things that come along with it and they try to use some of the advantages in a negative way which in the end may cause that person in love to be hurt.
(I‘m sorry that it‘s kind of long, but I have a lot to say. It‘s not so essay-ish, at least, right? Oh! And I promise I‘m not completely heartless, just too practical for romance, at this point!)
I’m not going to attempt to define “love” because I think it means something different to everyone, but I will say that I think that people are capable of love itself, at any age. The romantic love in question, however, comes much later.
Certainly, most 18-year-olds are too young to build a successful marriage, but that does not necessarily mean that no 18-year-old ever could be ready. Age is not the factor that determines when a person is emotionally equipped to take on such a huge and supposedly lasting commitment; it’s the maturity level that the person has reached, and the life experiences that they have racked up to assist them when the road gets rough—as it most definitely will.
Some of the qualities of love can surely be agreed upon, but one that is sadly overlooked is its irrationality. It’s an extremely powerful, and blinding, emotion, the waves of which are fully capable of drowning its victims’ powers of reasoning, and washing away the mind’s previous control over the decision-making process. Some people may claim that the beauty of the whole—I want to say mess, but that makes me sound terrible, doesn’t it?—thing lies in this concept, but I think that is the true danger. The idea of such an intense mutual devotion is so ridiculously seductive that people leap right in without stopping to consider the consequences, and they can’t always swim.
Because of its ferocious intensity, love has the power to stealthily shatter a person beyond repair, unlike anything else. If we’re going to use “Twilight” examples,—pardon my graphic metaphor— it’s everybody’s exact brand of heroin. Unbelievably addicting and wonderful while it’s there, but devastating when it’s gone, it sends its prey into an absolutely excruciating and hellish withdrawal, the scars of which will last for very long periods of time, and sometimes prove to be fatal. I don’t mean “fatal” in a suicide kind of way, but in a death-of-the-person that someone once was kind of way. Not everyone recovers, which starts ripples of pain in the lives of the people that they care about.
“Twilight,” as a series, proves my points even further. Consider Bella’s condition through the majority of “New Moon.” Emotionally broken on every level, she is barely capable of functioning in the real world, which wounds and worries Charlie. Her friendships are sacrificed on the altar of indifference, and everything that Bella once enjoyed is ignored because it is too painful to remember life as it was once lived. Her love of Edward certainly defies reason, which supports my “irrationality” argument, and because of it she makes very poor choices, and almost gets herself killed.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the books, but they are yet another example of a mythical, alluring world of true love and happy endings, which very seldom exist in the real world. Girls may swoon and sigh over a captivating character that doesn’t exist, but in all honesty, if it were a real-life situation, would they really be encouraged to forsake their entire world and life for someone they’ve known for such a relatively fleeting amount of time? Probably not. And it is important to remember the menace of such earth-shattering choices.
What about Romeo and Juliet? That is, theoretically, one of the most romantic stories of all time, but how does it end? Romeo is so convinced that he physically cannot live without Juliet that he kills himself—an uneducated, emotional decision if there ever was one. And Juliet? She finds Romeo’s dead body and makes the same stupid decision. If Romeo had simply thought rationally and attempted to cope with his new wife’s “death,” later that day, he and Juliet could have spent the rest of their lives— if they stayed together, which seems unlikely considering Romeo‘s flip-floppy romantic history—erasing the bad memory, and replacing it with new ones.
This isn’t to say that love doesn’t have its good qualities, but the bad ones outweigh the good, in my opinion. It is completely possible for a person to find contentment by themselves, without risking the obliteration of their spirit. And that path is the much more logical one.
I could keep writing, but I’ll end my rant here. Sorry, again, for the longness…
Hmmm... what is love? I really don't think there is a way to describe what love actually is. I guess it would be an extreme feeling of like towards a person. When you see a person and your heart flies, or you can't stop thinking about them, or when you just want to enjoy a moment with them.
I, at 17 years old, have said "I love you" to one person and that was a complete mistake because i didn't know what love is. I wasn't in love with that person. But, I have felt what I described above for another and I still think I'm too young to really know what it is to love another. If someone thinks they are old enough at the age of 18 to think they are mature enough to "fall in love" and marry a person and make it work, more power to them, but I personally think they are still too young to know what they are feeling.
In Twilight Bella and Edward "fall in love." He says he found his, as Lindsay quoted, his brand of heroine. What is Bella going to say to that? Sorry I don't love you, your not my brand of heroine? No. She is going to swoon at his feet. Going to make him want him even more. I think, although I LOVE this series, after having these in class discussions, Bella made a stupid decision. What if 50 years down the road she's not happy with Edward? What is she going to do? She is going to be a vampire FOREVER.
After thinking about this book I do perceive the message of abstinence until marriage. This shows the sign of a strong couple, it shows how hard it is for both of them to resist each other, but they manage to do that. Although I still think Bella made a stupid decision by marrying Edward, I think that this could possibly make them a stronger couple.
Twilight is a romance. Period. And of course every girl is going to want a guy like Edward Cullen, but the targeted population should be old enough to understand that HE DOES NOT EXIST. So I don't think that this story is dangerous for young girls as long as they can separate fantasy from reality.
“Love” is when the person that you’re in love with makes you a better person. It’s also very dangerous because you don’t want to get hurt. That’s why so many people claim that they’ve never experienced love. It’s either because they can’t let go in fear of the potential harm when it’s over, or because they want love so much that they’re “in love” with everybody and everything.
Now I’ve read the Twilight Series and I was an addict for three weeks or so. Not until I was done that I’ve realized the book is not all that great. First of all, I did not get that the book promoted abstinence until marriage until you pointed out Mrs. Russoniello. This whole time, I thought Edward held back because he didn’t want to hurt Bella, in case he couldn’t control himself. But the book really disgusted me in the end. How the author kept suggesting that Bella- although stressed/terrified that her entire family could die in a big vampire showdown- couldn’t wait for the night time and their endless time together. THAT right there, just reversed all the abstinence message that the book wanted to promote. I mean there were SO MANY hints of sexual innuendos in that last book! Yet I do believe that if Stephanie Meyer wrote a cleaner version, it would have been just as effective. But maybe she was trying to appeal to the older audience (us) so she felt necessary to include those scenes.
Love is when you have such strong feeling for someone, when you want to be with them 24/7, when you can never stop thinking about them, when you would rather be with them than anyone in the world and want to spend the rest of your life with that person, when you hug them you feel like you are one and never want to let them go.
I think that if two 18 year old people want to get married thats just fine if they really love each other. I wouldn't do it this early in my life but thats just me, and if two people love each other and they want to get married i think they should.
just remember there is a little thing called divorce... =D
Love is indescribable. You cannot define it in a few words. Falling in love is supposed to be a feeling like no other. You can't stop thinking about the person, you can't wait to be next to them, or see their smile. Eighteen year olds may feel these kinds of feelings, but who is to say they will last? I think they should wait a few years and if those feelings are still there, then they can get married. If they have already been together a few years at eighteen, why don't they go out and see other people? Because if their love was meant to last, then no matter how many people they date, their hearts will know that they are meant to be together and find each other again.
Bella made a life changing decision when she married Edward, literally. She may have been so in love with him it didn't matter but what if a few years down the road she wants to try something new? She's stuck as a vampire.
People should just think before they act so they don't regret it in the end.
My thoughts on the 'love' that most the people have is that it isn’t love its usually two things, the first being its not love but lust and idiots don’t understand the difference, and the second is when two people get together out of fear the fear of being alone by themselves. Dependency in my thoughts is the reason for most of the people getting together and people tend to rush into it and that is why their relationships never work out. Two 18yr olds are probably not going to stick together even if they are going into the relationship with the best of intentions. Although it may seem I don’t believe in love its not that I’m just a realist who realizes how things are and there is real love but people have to work to find and embrace it. As for twilight im against the series because little girls read it and are infatuated with the thought of a creepy guy, who watches the girl sleep at night, loving her it ridiculous.
-Emilio
Im with Alex as far as not ever seeing the movie or reading the book but i disagree with his philosophy on love. I believe that love is unconditional, uncontrolable, and absolutley random. When you love someone is very natural and common. Such as the love you have for your mom or your friends ginuinely because they care for you (you love people who love/care for you) But when you fall IN love with someone its totally uncontrolable and at absolute random. You cant help who you fall in love with thats just how life works. But like most people i think rather than running from it you should embrace it because its not going to change or just GO AWAY....like most people hope it would.
Love is a wonderful thing i think more people should do, share, and embrace because with out love what would our world become?
~4ng!3~
LOVE, a four letter word that seems to make girls blush and boys frown. I believe that love is very complicated and that it has many layers and rules.I have not seen or read Twilight, although I am getting tempted. The reason why their are layers is because you love at different levels and intensity. I love my friends because we are close and we have a bond not to song cheesy but that does not mean that I want to be in a dating relationship with them. When your dating a boy or girl there is a difference between loving them and being in love with them. It's the hurtful overly used line in every movie with a break up. However it's true. You can love someone as a friend and not be in love with them. This is also like a level of love. In the beginning its friends, then like, then love, and lastly in love. You need to go in order because if not you will end up doing all of the above but not in the right order.
As for getting married at 18, why not? The government says it ok. I would not want to get married at 18 though. I would have probably only been serious with that guy and would not know for sure if it was true love or really meant to be. I think it depends on the people. Who knows, I might do it but it would take a lot of thought. Plus if we were really in love and cared so much about each other what's wrong with waiting?
Love is just a natural thing for most people and others have to work at it. We have all had past experience that has changed how we see love. Many people today thing they have love but a lot of the time its just lust and than they move on. Most people today don't want to feel love they would rather just be with someone for the benefits of money and security than rather being alone.
As for Twilight, the book is a romance, so a lot of the love details secure into the ultimate love, when in reality to even achieve that with someone take more than a couple years. Plus you’re taking an unrealistic situation and try putting it in real life scenarios, it just doesn't work.
As for eighteen year olds going into marriage, I really don't care how in love they thing they are but they are not ready for a commitment like this. Most marriages fail today because people rush into it with out truly knowing who or what they are dealing with. If you truly thing you love someone, live with them for awhile learn their habits and than if you still feel that you love each other after a year than go ahead. We have a limited amount of time on this Earth, why not do it right the first time around.
I honestly don't understand why everyone has such a problem with people getting married at a young age. People who know me well will attribute this to certain facts, but it has nothing to do with that (so no comments, Bernadette). Who says that someone who is thirty is more likely to be fully committed and less likely to cheat than someone who is 18 or even someone who is 14? Personally, I'm a fan of arranged marriages at 14-15 years old. Cut them off before they start fooling around. They can learn to love each other. It worked for hundreds of years, and led to plenty of healthy relationships (OK, so the healthy relationship was with the concubine, so what?).
No, seriously... it really all amounts to personal levels of devotion, responsibility, and emotional maturity. If two 18-year-olds are emotionally, physically, and mentally ready to get married, why not?
What is love? Love is devotion, compassion, and fidelity. Love is listening to Dan Cummins online... wait, no that's just freaking funny... Love is lying down on a Sunday afternoon, watching TV, holding tight. Who can feel love? Anyone. Who can correctly discern love from pseudo-love? very few. The thing about love is, it doesn't have to just happen. Love can be found, created, strengthened, weakened, and destroyed. It's just hard to tell the difference, especially for someone who is young. The problem comes when someone decides to wait until they find "The right one." The issue is that no one can focus while Dan Cummins is on. Again, I apologize. What happens when they wait too long, and let the opportunity pass? Everyone thinks that there has to be a "perfect person" for them, but that isn't the way the world works. And if it does, hold on to that person. Honestly, the only reason not to get married at 18 is if you aren't mature enough, because almost any relationship will work, so long as both people are fully committed.
As for Twilight, I only read Twilight, so I am disgusted that you all would ruin the rest of the series for me. I was never going to read them, but still... you all ruined it.
On a final note, look up Dan Cummins. He's really that funny. And Bernadette, I'm still bringing my Frosh friends to see you... eventually.
Love is something that has to grow overtime. I do not believe that their is such a thing as love at first sight. You can not possibly love someone just by seeing them. That is called LUST. I don't believe that most eighteen year old's have had time to grow into love because love is more than liking someone. It is more than an emotion and it is more than a temporary euphoria. It can last forever if it is true. Under certain circumstances I do think eighteen year olds could fall in love and be ready to marry but only under very specific circumstances. Usually in ones where they have been forced to mature much faster.
I happen to love the twilight series but mostly because it is FICTIONAL. their situation is completely removed from reality and is a fun and entertaining story. But it is just that a story. And as for the alligations that it can cause the readers to believe that it is like real life and that it can be dangerous any book can do that. Classic stories that parents read to their children all the time have the same potential as twilight. If a teenager can't seperate fiction from reality then they shouldn't be reading any of these kinds of books. When Harry Potter first came out parents across the country were ablsolutely certain that it would cause their children to believe that it was real and that they would turn into witches and warlock's and try to spell each other. Except for a few extremely gullible people this did not happen. If a teen is mature enough they can read the books without fear of "corrupting" themselves. Dont' we do the same thing with telling our kids about santa and the easter bunny and making them believe that those are real. Is this any different? The nature of fiction is that it is made up it is a lie. It never happened and will never happen. Any one who can't grasp that should try reading a different genre.
Ive seen twilight and i believe she did the right thing.If she really does love him,then she should be aloud to spend the rest of her life with him.
I was told once by a family member that love isn't about finding the perfect person,it's about finding an imperfect person and seeing them perfectly.This saying has stayed with me since i heard it.
I believe that if two 18 year olds can support each other and pay for the things they need to,then they should be aloud to get married
Love is hard to explain, but I'll try. Love is a feeling of deep caring and compassion towards a person. You do not want to hurt that person in anyway and if you do you are remorseful. You want to do what is best for the person you are in love with.
As for who can love, well I think that anyone can. Of course no one can actually be certain of anything except for their own existence, I am pretty sure that almost everything and everyone can feel love for someone else.
I forgot to say that I also feel that true love does not apply to material possesions. You may say you love a blanket because your grandmother gave it to you, but you do not actually love the blanket. You love your grandmother and the fact that she gave it to you makes you associate it with nice feelings.
THE END
P.S. I LOVE Mr. Elet :))).
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